Day 25: Keith Campbell
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant, I was a brute beast before You. Yet I am always with You, You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel and afterward You will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from You will perish; You destroy all who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all Your deeds.” Psalm 73: 21-28
The older I get, the more I realize I am hopeless and bereft without God and His Word. While that bit of self-reflection may initially seem so defeatist and depressing, the Spirit has worked on my heart and head to show me that the opposite is actually true.
I am a human, God's beloved creation, but inherently flawed just the same. As much as the Enlightenment and other humanist pursuits might claim that we are rational, capable of vast self-improvement, and perhaps even able to make a world in which we can meet all of our needs and treat each other with goodness, we know that these things are not true. Leaving aside all the sweeping lessons of history, I know that these secular claims are false; merely by focusing on myself and my own soul.
On any given day, hour or minute, I am sad, overwhelmed, angry, selfish, confused, hurt, jealous, and avoidant. My emotions sometimes (often?) seem to overwhelm me. Like David so accurately said, "My heart melts within me". And this reflection is coming from someone (David and humbly, myself), who has a relationship with the Lord!
The Spirit has been working hard on me this past year to realize and accept that these feelings and struggles are ok. In fact, they are perfectly predictable and part of me. I should not expect that I am able to work hard enough or strive more to eliminate them. Instead, the key questions deal with my responses to these feelings.
Who or what do I turn to when I feel alone or overwhelmed? Do I succumb to temptation and explode in anger? Wallow in self-pity? Remain stuck and unmovable? Make excuses for my bad behavior and blame others or the world for my own choices? Do I sin? I must confess, sometimes I do, and I have seen some horrible consequences that not only injure me and keep me from my potential, but also harm those around me, including those closest to me whom I love very much. The Devil is a liar. His attempts to induce self-doubt and a turn away from God, are not the escape that we think. Rather, these are leaps into a deeper pit.
But this is supposed to be a BOAST in the Lord? So far, its been pretty rough! Yet, the boast is exactly that… IN THE LORD, not in me. I do not and cannot save myself. Jesus does. He sustains me. When I am in the storm and cannot see a way out, He is there and offers refuge.
This past year, I have discovered a new found love for the Psalms because they are so perfectly human. So many follow a pattern that align with my own struggles and my own salvation. They begin by laying out the difficulty, the injustice, the pain of human existence. But then…a turn takes place. There’s a focus on God's character as opposed to our (my) own strength or ability. A reminder of His eternal and incalculable love, care, and concern for His people.
For me, a remembrance of all the countless times in the past that He provided for them, healed them, saved them (me). A focus on God. That is how it should be, that is what I should do. When the wind and the waves of life make it feel like I am drowning, I merely need to take His hand. Read His word. Cry out to Him in prayer.
In the midst of some serious challenges and difficult circumstances this past year (when does that NOT happen?), I heard similar comments from multiple friends and co-workers. Usually something to the effect of: "Keith you always seem so calm", "you always know what to do", or "you always seem to have it together".
These comments made/make me really uncomfortable, and for a very long time, I struggled with how to respond. How could I say to them that I really didn't feel that way? That my soul was often in turmoil? But here again, a revelation from the Spirit; these were in fact divinely appointed moments to share about my faith and my God; about the Jesus that I know and rely upon so much, and about the Spirit that I cry out to in my moments of fear and distress.
A few weeks ago, a former student of mine stopped by the high school for a visit. After her own youthful struggles, she has now grown into a woman of strong faith with an impressive boldness to talk to others about Jesus. She shared that even though I, as a public school teacher, was never able to openly speak about my beliefs when she was in my class, she knew that I was a follower of Christ. She said that it was obvious and that many students knew. I was shocked and humbled and frankly, I cried.
Not only should I seek to abide in Him always, but I should be fearless in my willingness to proclaim loudly all that He has, does, and will do for me. My testimony of His faithfulness is not really my story. It is God's story of His work in and through me. I should not shy away from sharing that, but instead should make it known to all. To tell them the hope that is Christ. There is a world in need out there, in need of Jesus. That is my boast in the Lord and also my challenge for this year!
Prayer
Thank you Father for Your endless mercy and love for me even though I don't deserve it. I am grateful that I can always turn to You when I am in turmoil. I am continually renewed, refreshed, and refocused when I turn to Your Word for guidance. Help me remember that. Strengthen my heart within me. Remind me that there is nothing to fear and that I can take courage because my reliance is on You, Your character and promises. Give me boldness to tell of Your works in my life.
The older I get, the more I realize I am hopeless and bereft without God and His Word. While that bit of self-reflection may initially seem so defeatist and depressing, the Spirit has worked on my heart and head to show me that the opposite is actually true.
I am a human, God's beloved creation, but inherently flawed just the same. As much as the Enlightenment and other humanist pursuits might claim that we are rational, capable of vast self-improvement, and perhaps even able to make a world in which we can meet all of our needs and treat each other with goodness, we know that these things are not true. Leaving aside all the sweeping lessons of history, I know that these secular claims are false; merely by focusing on myself and my own soul.
On any given day, hour or minute, I am sad, overwhelmed, angry, selfish, confused, hurt, jealous, and avoidant. My emotions sometimes (often?) seem to overwhelm me. Like David so accurately said, "My heart melts within me". And this reflection is coming from someone (David and humbly, myself), who has a relationship with the Lord!
The Spirit has been working hard on me this past year to realize and accept that these feelings and struggles are ok. In fact, they are perfectly predictable and part of me. I should not expect that I am able to work hard enough or strive more to eliminate them. Instead, the key questions deal with my responses to these feelings.
Who or what do I turn to when I feel alone or overwhelmed? Do I succumb to temptation and explode in anger? Wallow in self-pity? Remain stuck and unmovable? Make excuses for my bad behavior and blame others or the world for my own choices? Do I sin? I must confess, sometimes I do, and I have seen some horrible consequences that not only injure me and keep me from my potential, but also harm those around me, including those closest to me whom I love very much. The Devil is a liar. His attempts to induce self-doubt and a turn away from God, are not the escape that we think. Rather, these are leaps into a deeper pit.
But this is supposed to be a BOAST in the Lord? So far, its been pretty rough! Yet, the boast is exactly that… IN THE LORD, not in me. I do not and cannot save myself. Jesus does. He sustains me. When I am in the storm and cannot see a way out, He is there and offers refuge.
This past year, I have discovered a new found love for the Psalms because they are so perfectly human. So many follow a pattern that align with my own struggles and my own salvation. They begin by laying out the difficulty, the injustice, the pain of human existence. But then…a turn takes place. There’s a focus on God's character as opposed to our (my) own strength or ability. A reminder of His eternal and incalculable love, care, and concern for His people.
For me, a remembrance of all the countless times in the past that He provided for them, healed them, saved them (me). A focus on God. That is how it should be, that is what I should do. When the wind and the waves of life make it feel like I am drowning, I merely need to take His hand. Read His word. Cry out to Him in prayer.
In the midst of some serious challenges and difficult circumstances this past year (when does that NOT happen?), I heard similar comments from multiple friends and co-workers. Usually something to the effect of: "Keith you always seem so calm", "you always know what to do", or "you always seem to have it together".
These comments made/make me really uncomfortable, and for a very long time, I struggled with how to respond. How could I say to them that I really didn't feel that way? That my soul was often in turmoil? But here again, a revelation from the Spirit; these were in fact divinely appointed moments to share about my faith and my God; about the Jesus that I know and rely upon so much, and about the Spirit that I cry out to in my moments of fear and distress.
A few weeks ago, a former student of mine stopped by the high school for a visit. After her own youthful struggles, she has now grown into a woman of strong faith with an impressive boldness to talk to others about Jesus. She shared that even though I, as a public school teacher, was never able to openly speak about my beliefs when she was in my class, she knew that I was a follower of Christ. She said that it was obvious and that many students knew. I was shocked and humbled and frankly, I cried.
Not only should I seek to abide in Him always, but I should be fearless in my willingness to proclaim loudly all that He has, does, and will do for me. My testimony of His faithfulness is not really my story. It is God's story of His work in and through me. I should not shy away from sharing that, but instead should make it known to all. To tell them the hope that is Christ. There is a world in need out there, in need of Jesus. That is my boast in the Lord and also my challenge for this year!
Prayer
Thank you Father for Your endless mercy and love for me even though I don't deserve it. I am grateful that I can always turn to You when I am in turmoil. I am continually renewed, refreshed, and refocused when I turn to Your Word for guidance. Help me remember that. Strengthen my heart within me. Remind me that there is nothing to fear and that I can take courage because my reliance is on You, Your character and promises. Give me boldness to tell of Your works in my life.
Posted in Boast in the Lord \\\'25 pt2
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