Day 23: Luke Ciannello
“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to Him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life. “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:25-34
After listening to this past week’s message on depression, I felt compelled to share a bit of my battle regarding this issue. Although I was no stranger to mental illness, (being from a family that has many members that struggle with varying degrees of challenges relating to the mind), I personally had never really felt the burden of mental illness. I did not think it was a made-up thing, nor something that those affected by it should just “suck it up”. I sensed that it was a very real struggle for them. But in retrospect, I suppose I foolishly felt that I was somewhat immune from the malady myself. Much to my dismay, a few years ago, I would come face to face with the reality that I was in fact not immune.
I found myself in bed in a very real sense of panic as I was not sure that I could face the next day. This stemmed, at least in part, from stress I was enduring at work. I could not stop my mind from constantly going over scenarios of what needed to be done and what could go wrong and the implications of it all.
This was very surprising to me because it was not as if I hadn’t been through stressful situations in my life up to that point. On the contrary, one might have looked at my life at that point and wondered how I had handled many of the challenges placed before me with relative ease.
Things like… I was the 2nd of 5 children that lost a father to cancer at the age of 15. I was married at 20 years old and had 3 children by the age of 25. One of those children was born with many significant health challenges. It would take many pages to explain in any detail the complexity of those challenges. To give you an idea of what he went through; at one point he had a feeding tube, a port, high-flow oxygen system at home and he had been under anesthesia over 40 times before he was 14 years old. For most of his childhood we did not have any nights that didn’t include waking up to assist him in some way. He was on the doorstep of death on more than one occasion. It is one of the most painful things a parent can endure to see a child suffer and not have the power to fix it.
To add to those challenges, when our 2 boys were very young and before our daughter was born, I had an accident at work where I suffered 3rd degree burns to 30% of my body which put me in the hospital for 28 days. My wife had also suffered a TIA (mini stroke) at 26 years old and battled an epilepsy diagnosis which took her drivers license away for a period of time.
There were other challenges too, but I think this gives the picture of a life that is not without stress and challenge. So, when I found myself not being able to get off the coach for days at a time, I was so shaken by my frailty and could not think my way out of it. But God…
He is faithful and true. He never left me or forsook me. Matthew 6:25-34 became real to me as the Lord showed time and again as to how He will provide. “… look at the birds of the air;… are we not much more valuable than them and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them…”
He placed so many in my life that would support and encourage me when I was at my lowest. None more supportive or loving than my wife who stood by me through it all and never made me feel like I was a burden to her (even though I was). Even as a single-income household with no real view of what the future would look like if I wasn’t able to get myself back in a condition to work and support our family, she never gave me any sense that she was worried. She was and is such an example of faith and I am beyond blessed to share this journey with her.
The Lord put good friends in my path also that were willing to just sit with me and encourage me during that dark time. Hearing from others that had gone through similar depression and come out on the other side was an encouragement.
I realized that my condition was an injury. My brain was injured and needed to heal. The mental and physical are directly connected and I needed help to heal. I sought wise counsel (including a professional Christian psychiatrist).
I was provided with an opportunity to change jobs. This would require a significant pay cut and for us to step out in faith. All of this was a part of my healing process. But through it all the Lord provided and taught me many lessons and showed me the good in others.
Today I am no longer injured and am in a much better place. I still have stress, but I am able to face it with a better mindset. It is my hope that someone else struggling with this today might gain just a little hope from my story.
Prayer
My prayer is that anyone struggling with depression will be set free by the power of Jesus and that my story may be a small source of hope for those that read it.
After listening to this past week’s message on depression, I felt compelled to share a bit of my battle regarding this issue. Although I was no stranger to mental illness, (being from a family that has many members that struggle with varying degrees of challenges relating to the mind), I personally had never really felt the burden of mental illness. I did not think it was a made-up thing, nor something that those affected by it should just “suck it up”. I sensed that it was a very real struggle for them. But in retrospect, I suppose I foolishly felt that I was somewhat immune from the malady myself. Much to my dismay, a few years ago, I would come face to face with the reality that I was in fact not immune.
I found myself in bed in a very real sense of panic as I was not sure that I could face the next day. This stemmed, at least in part, from stress I was enduring at work. I could not stop my mind from constantly going over scenarios of what needed to be done and what could go wrong and the implications of it all.
This was very surprising to me because it was not as if I hadn’t been through stressful situations in my life up to that point. On the contrary, one might have looked at my life at that point and wondered how I had handled many of the challenges placed before me with relative ease.
Things like… I was the 2nd of 5 children that lost a father to cancer at the age of 15. I was married at 20 years old and had 3 children by the age of 25. One of those children was born with many significant health challenges. It would take many pages to explain in any detail the complexity of those challenges. To give you an idea of what he went through; at one point he had a feeding tube, a port, high-flow oxygen system at home and he had been under anesthesia over 40 times before he was 14 years old. For most of his childhood we did not have any nights that didn’t include waking up to assist him in some way. He was on the doorstep of death on more than one occasion. It is one of the most painful things a parent can endure to see a child suffer and not have the power to fix it.
To add to those challenges, when our 2 boys were very young and before our daughter was born, I had an accident at work where I suffered 3rd degree burns to 30% of my body which put me in the hospital for 28 days. My wife had also suffered a TIA (mini stroke) at 26 years old and battled an epilepsy diagnosis which took her drivers license away for a period of time.
There were other challenges too, but I think this gives the picture of a life that is not without stress and challenge. So, when I found myself not being able to get off the coach for days at a time, I was so shaken by my frailty and could not think my way out of it. But God…
He is faithful and true. He never left me or forsook me. Matthew 6:25-34 became real to me as the Lord showed time and again as to how He will provide. “… look at the birds of the air;… are we not much more valuable than them and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them…”
He placed so many in my life that would support and encourage me when I was at my lowest. None more supportive or loving than my wife who stood by me through it all and never made me feel like I was a burden to her (even though I was). Even as a single-income household with no real view of what the future would look like if I wasn’t able to get myself back in a condition to work and support our family, she never gave me any sense that she was worried. She was and is such an example of faith and I am beyond blessed to share this journey with her.
The Lord put good friends in my path also that were willing to just sit with me and encourage me during that dark time. Hearing from others that had gone through similar depression and come out on the other side was an encouragement.
I realized that my condition was an injury. My brain was injured and needed to heal. The mental and physical are directly connected and I needed help to heal. I sought wise counsel (including a professional Christian psychiatrist).
I was provided with an opportunity to change jobs. This would require a significant pay cut and for us to step out in faith. All of this was a part of my healing process. But through it all the Lord provided and taught me many lessons and showed me the good in others.
Today I am no longer injured and am in a much better place. I still have stress, but I am able to face it with a better mindset. It is my hope that someone else struggling with this today might gain just a little hope from my story.
Prayer
My prayer is that anyone struggling with depression will be set free by the power of Jesus and that my story may be a small source of hope for those that read it.
Posted in Boast in the Lord \\\\\\\'25 pt2
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