Day 22: Megan Bonanno
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus…Philippians 4:6-7
The start of 2024 was, without a doubt, the lowest point of my life.
Following a not-so-recent divorce, I felt utterly rejected by many people I thought I needed for guidance. On top of that, I faced relentless harassment that even targeted my children, a drastically slowing business, and an uncertain future. I didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent or support my daughters in the years to come.
The stress was overwhelming—I could barely manage a smile in social situations. Walking into a room full of people felt debilitating given the facade that I felt the need to uphold. The stress was so severe that I began to think I had multiple sclerosis and that my body was completely failing. I even found myself calculating ways to end the misery, consumed by thoughts of how to make it the least impactful on my girls.
My mind was in constant self-sabotage mode, torturing me relentlessly. Every negative comment I heard at Bible studies or women’s breakfasts about divorce felt like piercing criticism and rejection. Every unreturned smile became, in my mind, proof of how “these Christians, with their perfect lives and happy families (clearly fueled by my own jealousy, people-pleasing, and the constant need to prove myself to everyone) are so hateful, judgmental, and self-righteous.” I allowed the enemy to isolate me, pushing me into a corner, away from Godly influences, and be tortured by my own thoughts. I focused on my circumstances and let them grow in my mind perpetuating my misery.
What changed? I finally applied the lesson from Peter walking on the water: I fixed my focus on God. Every time an issue, threat, or hint of anxiety surfaced, I redirected my thoughts on God and His blessings. It was a constant effort to shift my perspective from criticism to gratitude. I began to see the blessings I had been overlooking: two beautiful daughters, a peaceful and happy home, my health, the ability to earn an income, and, by God’s grace, my mind slowly being restored.
I realized I already had everything I truly needed and ever wanted. Another passage that transformed me was Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” I repeated this verse aloud constantly and especially every time the enemy whispered lies in my mind. I slept with the song, In Jesus Name, by Katy Nichole, playing on repeat through the night.
It wasn’t an instant change—it took months of intentional effort, and it’s still a work in progress. But praise God, through His favor, grace, and guidance, I ended 2024 as one of the best years of my life. He blessed my business with abundance I never thought possible. In a time when many in my industry are struggling, I have thrived—not through my own strength, but through His guidance and favor, that I can clearly see over and over again. All the glory and honor belong to Him because, without Him, I wouldn’t have had the strength to make it through even a single day.
Looking back, I am grateful for the struggle because it taught me to rely completely on Him. Every day, I wake up with my focus on God, thanking Him for His forgiveness, guidance, protection, strength, and healing. I now sleep with the song Goodness of God on repeat!
To anyone feeling hopeless: if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl—just keep going! Make it through one more day. It will get better, I promise. I may not be where I want to be mentally or spiritually, but thank God I’m not where I was and I know that God loves me no matter what. I am worthy and don’t have to prove myself to Him or anyone else no matter how often the enemy tries to convince me otherwise!
Prayer
Dear God, Thank you for removing anything in my life that separates me from You. Thank You for guiding me in who You want me to be. Thank You, Lord, for Your forgiveness, healing, guidance, and favor in all that I do. Amen
The start of 2024 was, without a doubt, the lowest point of my life.
Following a not-so-recent divorce, I felt utterly rejected by many people I thought I needed for guidance. On top of that, I faced relentless harassment that even targeted my children, a drastically slowing business, and an uncertain future. I didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent or support my daughters in the years to come.
The stress was overwhelming—I could barely manage a smile in social situations. Walking into a room full of people felt debilitating given the facade that I felt the need to uphold. The stress was so severe that I began to think I had multiple sclerosis and that my body was completely failing. I even found myself calculating ways to end the misery, consumed by thoughts of how to make it the least impactful on my girls.
My mind was in constant self-sabotage mode, torturing me relentlessly. Every negative comment I heard at Bible studies or women’s breakfasts about divorce felt like piercing criticism and rejection. Every unreturned smile became, in my mind, proof of how “these Christians, with their perfect lives and happy families (clearly fueled by my own jealousy, people-pleasing, and the constant need to prove myself to everyone) are so hateful, judgmental, and self-righteous.” I allowed the enemy to isolate me, pushing me into a corner, away from Godly influences, and be tortured by my own thoughts. I focused on my circumstances and let them grow in my mind perpetuating my misery.
What changed? I finally applied the lesson from Peter walking on the water: I fixed my focus on God. Every time an issue, threat, or hint of anxiety surfaced, I redirected my thoughts on God and His blessings. It was a constant effort to shift my perspective from criticism to gratitude. I began to see the blessings I had been overlooking: two beautiful daughters, a peaceful and happy home, my health, the ability to earn an income, and, by God’s grace, my mind slowly being restored.
I realized I already had everything I truly needed and ever wanted. Another passage that transformed me was Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” I repeated this verse aloud constantly and especially every time the enemy whispered lies in my mind. I slept with the song, In Jesus Name, by Katy Nichole, playing on repeat through the night.
It wasn’t an instant change—it took months of intentional effort, and it’s still a work in progress. But praise God, through His favor, grace, and guidance, I ended 2024 as one of the best years of my life. He blessed my business with abundance I never thought possible. In a time when many in my industry are struggling, I have thrived—not through my own strength, but through His guidance and favor, that I can clearly see over and over again. All the glory and honor belong to Him because, without Him, I wouldn’t have had the strength to make it through even a single day.
Looking back, I am grateful for the struggle because it taught me to rely completely on Him. Every day, I wake up with my focus on God, thanking Him for His forgiveness, guidance, protection, strength, and healing. I now sleep with the song Goodness of God on repeat!
To anyone feeling hopeless: if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl—just keep going! Make it through one more day. It will get better, I promise. I may not be where I want to be mentally or spiritually, but thank God I’m not where I was and I know that God loves me no matter what. I am worthy and don’t have to prove myself to Him or anyone else no matter how often the enemy tries to convince me otherwise!
Prayer
Dear God, Thank you for removing anything in my life that separates me from You. Thank You for guiding me in who You want me to be. Thank You, Lord, for Your forgiveness, healing, guidance, and favor in all that I do. Amen
Posted in Boast in the Lord \\\'25 pt2
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