Day 4: Alyssa Susanj
“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job
1:21
2024 was a roller coaster of events and emotions for me. It was definitely one of the
hardest years, yet also one of the best years of my life so far!
Eleven days into the new year, I was rushed into an emergency C-section since
my baby’s heartbeat kept dropping with each contraction. This operation had me
shaking and repeatedly crying out, “Be strong and courageous”.
Praise God— our perfect baby boy, Joshua Joseph, was born on January 11th at
10:05am, and it has been the greatest honor and joy to watch him grow, learn new
things, and gain his adorable, sweet, silly personality! He is smart, playful, strong,
active, curious, funny, always exploring, constantly on the go, and gifted in so many
ways! I have loved every second of being his mama and this year being a first-time
mom. We love absolutely everything about him from the cute noises he makes to his
perfectly cool and plump round cheeks to his adorable smile (with two little teeth) to his
little backwards wave to his hand clapping and love for music to the way he initiates
playing peek-a-boo with us! However, what makes us the happiest is hearing his laugh
(the cutest thing we’ve ever heard!) We thank Jesus every day for this most precious
gift! “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the
heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
Along with all these joys, though, this past year also had many challenges.
Maybe it has to do with hormones, lack of sleep, or our current living situation.. but I
have been struggling with anger, frustration, bitterness, and even hate in my heart; to
the point where (you can ask my husband) I have become frightening to be around. I
thank God for a husband who loves me like Jesus no matter what, but he has truly seen
me at my worst and it’s ugly. I constantly return to the verse, “But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
Galatians 5:22-23. I have been reaching out to people in the church who have been
praying for me and encouraging me. I’m SO thankful for our church and praying that
God would sanctify me and help me grow in grace, love, and patience for others.
Jonathan and I are still living with his parents, but praying that home prices will start to
come down soon so that we could eventually afford a home of our own.
On October 4th, my sweet dog and best friend for 11 years, Delilah,
unexpectedly passed away from heart failure. Thank God He kept her alive long enough
for me and Jonathan to say goodbye to her at the vet hospital, but it was heart-
wrenching to see her start collapsing while on oxygen and to be put down right in front
of us. My girl was the absolute best dog in this world and I will always miss her so
much. The Lord gives and takes away. He gave me eleven amazing years with my
Delilah girl, but now it’s time to focus on my sweet boy, Joshua. It was really getting
difficult to care for both of them at the same time, so it gives me peace knowing this was
God’s perfect timing, but loss is never easy or wanted.
Jonathan also lost his grandma this year (our Nani) in August, so we traveled to
Pittsburgh twice in two weeks. The first time was to visit her one last time and the
second to say goodbye at her wake/funeral. We miss her so much.
On a positive note, my sister and sister-in-law both had babies in 2024, so
Joshua gained two cousins and we found out on Thanksgiving that my other sister-in-
law is pregnant and due this coming July! So far we know of three new babies entering
our family in 2025 because my cousin and Jonathan’s cousin are also having babies in
March/April! We praise God that our family keeps growing!
As I was saying earlier about our roller coaster ride, my husband Jonathan
started having terrible back/leg pain in the summer. It progressively got worse over four
months. Most days, he just laid on the floor because his back hurt so bad. After weeks
and weeks of physical therapy, seeing a chiropractor and a doctor who told him it was
most likely sciatica, Jonathan collapsed on the floor one night around 4am while I was
up feeding Joshua. I heard Jonathan call my name but I didn’t know where he was until
I saw him lying on the floor in the hallway. As he was walking up the stairs, his herniated
disc ruptured even more and he was in so much pain that he couldn’t even move.
We called for an ambulance and Jonathan was taken to the ER on a stretcher. After
hours and hours of waiting for a physical therapist to see him in the emergency room, it
was evident that Jonathan needed back surgery. Of course, we all prayed and trusted
that God would bring him through this just like He had brought me and Joshua through
my 20-week appendectomy and emergency C-section.
He did have surgery. Praise our Living Lord! Jonathan’s surgeon came out to let me
know that the surgery went perfectly and that Jonathan was doing great! He even
showed me a picture of the disc he had removed, which was big and gross! I just kept
thanking him and gave him a gospel of John to read. Jonathan recovered very quickly,
was up and walking a day later (praise God!), and I’m so happy he is able to walk, drive,
dance, and help with Joshua again!
My sister, Gianine, found out the week before Thanksgiving that she has “Hodgkin’s
lymphoma” on one of her lungs. We found out today, as I’m writing this, that it is not in
her bone marrow and that it is only Stage 1 cancer! We are praising God, because, if it
was in her bone marrow, that would mean it was Stage 4. God is good all the time!
These are my stories of the roller coaster ride I’ve been on for 2024. I am so
thankful that, even though I am far from perfect and not always faithful, God remains
faithful to me and NOTHING can separate me from His love! (Romans 8:39) The song
lyrics that have been playing in my mind as I’m writing this devotional are from the song
“Hills and Valleys” by Tauren Wells. “You’re God of the hills and valleys, and I am not
alone. Father, You give and take away every joy and every pain. Through it ALL You will
remain over it all. On the mountain, I will bow my life. In the valley, I will lift my eyes.”
That song always encourages me so much. “And I will choose to say, ‘Blessed be Your
Name!’”
Prayer
Lord, “I’ve walked among the shadows; You wiped my tears away. I’ve felt the pain of
heartbreak, and I’ve seen the brighter days; I’ve prayed prayers to Heaven from my
lowest place, and I have held Your blessings; God, You give and take away. No matter
what I have, Your grace is enough. No matter where I am, I’m standing in Your love.” I’m
so grateful to know that You remain the same no matter what I go through. Your love for
me never changes. I am so thankful that You are the same God whether I’m on the
mountain or in the valley. Thank You for all of Your gifts that bring me so much joy and
also for the trials and challenges that pull me closer to Christ and increase my
dependence on Him. “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock
of Ages.” (Charles H. Spurgeon) You are faithful and good all the time! I love You, and I
praise You, for You alone are worthy! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
1:21
2024 was a roller coaster of events and emotions for me. It was definitely one of the
hardest years, yet also one of the best years of my life so far!
Eleven days into the new year, I was rushed into an emergency C-section since
my baby’s heartbeat kept dropping with each contraction. This operation had me
shaking and repeatedly crying out, “Be strong and courageous”.
Praise God— our perfect baby boy, Joshua Joseph, was born on January 11th at
10:05am, and it has been the greatest honor and joy to watch him grow, learn new
things, and gain his adorable, sweet, silly personality! He is smart, playful, strong,
active, curious, funny, always exploring, constantly on the go, and gifted in so many
ways! I have loved every second of being his mama and this year being a first-time
mom. We love absolutely everything about him from the cute noises he makes to his
perfectly cool and plump round cheeks to his adorable smile (with two little teeth) to his
little backwards wave to his hand clapping and love for music to the way he initiates
playing peek-a-boo with us! However, what makes us the happiest is hearing his laugh
(the cutest thing we’ve ever heard!) We thank Jesus every day for this most precious
gift! “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the
heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
Along with all these joys, though, this past year also had many challenges.
Maybe it has to do with hormones, lack of sleep, or our current living situation.. but I
have been struggling with anger, frustration, bitterness, and even hate in my heart; to
the point where (you can ask my husband) I have become frightening to be around. I
thank God for a husband who loves me like Jesus no matter what, but he has truly seen
me at my worst and it’s ugly. I constantly return to the verse, “But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
Galatians 5:22-23. I have been reaching out to people in the church who have been
praying for me and encouraging me. I’m SO thankful for our church and praying that
God would sanctify me and help me grow in grace, love, and patience for others.
Jonathan and I are still living with his parents, but praying that home prices will start to
come down soon so that we could eventually afford a home of our own.
On October 4th, my sweet dog and best friend for 11 years, Delilah,
unexpectedly passed away from heart failure. Thank God He kept her alive long enough
for me and Jonathan to say goodbye to her at the vet hospital, but it was heart-
wrenching to see her start collapsing while on oxygen and to be put down right in front
of us. My girl was the absolute best dog in this world and I will always miss her so
much. The Lord gives and takes away. He gave me eleven amazing years with my
Delilah girl, but now it’s time to focus on my sweet boy, Joshua. It was really getting
difficult to care for both of them at the same time, so it gives me peace knowing this was
God’s perfect timing, but loss is never easy or wanted.
Jonathan also lost his grandma this year (our Nani) in August, so we traveled to
Pittsburgh twice in two weeks. The first time was to visit her one last time and the
second to say goodbye at her wake/funeral. We miss her so much.
On a positive note, my sister and sister-in-law both had babies in 2024, so
Joshua gained two cousins and we found out on Thanksgiving that my other sister-in-
law is pregnant and due this coming July! So far we know of three new babies entering
our family in 2025 because my cousin and Jonathan’s cousin are also having babies in
March/April! We praise God that our family keeps growing!
As I was saying earlier about our roller coaster ride, my husband Jonathan
started having terrible back/leg pain in the summer. It progressively got worse over four
months. Most days, he just laid on the floor because his back hurt so bad. After weeks
and weeks of physical therapy, seeing a chiropractor and a doctor who told him it was
most likely sciatica, Jonathan collapsed on the floor one night around 4am while I was
up feeding Joshua. I heard Jonathan call my name but I didn’t know where he was until
I saw him lying on the floor in the hallway. As he was walking up the stairs, his herniated
disc ruptured even more and he was in so much pain that he couldn’t even move.
We called for an ambulance and Jonathan was taken to the ER on a stretcher. After
hours and hours of waiting for a physical therapist to see him in the emergency room, it
was evident that Jonathan needed back surgery. Of course, we all prayed and trusted
that God would bring him through this just like He had brought me and Joshua through
my 20-week appendectomy and emergency C-section.
He did have surgery. Praise our Living Lord! Jonathan’s surgeon came out to let me
know that the surgery went perfectly and that Jonathan was doing great! He even
showed me a picture of the disc he had removed, which was big and gross! I just kept
thanking him and gave him a gospel of John to read. Jonathan recovered very quickly,
was up and walking a day later (praise God!), and I’m so happy he is able to walk, drive,
dance, and help with Joshua again!
My sister, Gianine, found out the week before Thanksgiving that she has “Hodgkin’s
lymphoma” on one of her lungs. We found out today, as I’m writing this, that it is not in
her bone marrow and that it is only Stage 1 cancer! We are praising God, because, if it
was in her bone marrow, that would mean it was Stage 4. God is good all the time!
These are my stories of the roller coaster ride I’ve been on for 2024. I am so
thankful that, even though I am far from perfect and not always faithful, God remains
faithful to me and NOTHING can separate me from His love! (Romans 8:39) The song
lyrics that have been playing in my mind as I’m writing this devotional are from the song
“Hills and Valleys” by Tauren Wells. “You’re God of the hills and valleys, and I am not
alone. Father, You give and take away every joy and every pain. Through it ALL You will
remain over it all. On the mountain, I will bow my life. In the valley, I will lift my eyes.”
That song always encourages me so much. “And I will choose to say, ‘Blessed be Your
Name!’”
Prayer
Lord, “I’ve walked among the shadows; You wiped my tears away. I’ve felt the pain of
heartbreak, and I’ve seen the brighter days; I’ve prayed prayers to Heaven from my
lowest place, and I have held Your blessings; God, You give and take away. No matter
what I have, Your grace is enough. No matter where I am, I’m standing in Your love.” I’m
so grateful to know that You remain the same no matter what I go through. Your love for
me never changes. I am so thankful that You are the same God whether I’m on the
mountain or in the valley. Thank You for all of Your gifts that bring me so much joy and
also for the trials and challenges that pull me closer to Christ and increase my
dependence on Him. “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock
of Ages.” (Charles H. Spurgeon) You are faithful and good all the time! I love You, and I
praise You, for You alone are worthy! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Posted in Boast in the Lord \\\'25
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