Day 2: Debbie Ericksen
The Rearview Mirror
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3: 13-14)
I have been struggling for four years.
I dreamed of being a teacher since I was five years old. Well into my forties, God miraculously orchestrated a chain of events that opened doors for me to receive my teaching certification and to have my own classroom. For over fifteen years, He provided me with the opportunity to work in public education and blessed my efforts in ways that took my breath away. Second only to motherhood, it was the best job I ever had. It was my mission field. And then COVID. As I navigated through the trials of virtual teaching and all that went with it, compounded with a couple years of working with some seriously challenging colleagues, God was whispering “It’s time, Debbie”. It was time to leave THAT mission field. Quite honestly, with all the stress and the 12–15-hour days I was working, I was happy to let it go.
Until I wasn’t.
As time passed and after I had some time to recharge, I began to grieve the loss of my classroom. I missed the children. I missed designing lessons and watching the kids learn. It was hard for me to let go. Almost four years later, it’s still hard sometimes. Because, let’s face it, when God gives you something you love and gifts you to do it, it’s hard to part with it. When I retired from teaching, I had two years of quiet and loneliness (which I hated). But in the quiet, the Lord speaks. The Holy Spirit showed me that in the quiet, I could hear better AND I had much to learn and grow in to prepare me for my new mission field. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I knew I needed to be obedient. There were times I wanted to fill up the quiet – but each time, I gave it to God. I’m still giving it to God. The battle between flesh and spirit is a hard one. Paul wrote: "For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want."
(Galatians 5:17). I wanted to feel important and needed again. I wanted to do something that made a difference. Sitting at home didn’t seem to fit the bill. But God needed me to see something differently.
When I retired, I left the classroom but still stayed involved in multiple educational advisory roles. I also kept tutoring. My heart will always love education, but I love the Lord more. So earlier this year, when He told me to withdraw from my advisory roles, I did exactly that. I submitted my resignations. All six of them. I was allowed to keep my tutoring which gave me great joy. Until two months ago. The Lord prompted me to let go of that too. And THAT is when I purchased another ticket to ride the Struggle Bus.
Letting go of tutoring is the final step of letting go of something I have been passionate about since childhood and gifted to do. I’ve been struggling for weeks over it, wanting to make sure I was hearing God correctly. But His Spirit has breathed truth and life into me many times, so deep down I knew it was Him. He has been and remains so patient with me. As I wrestled with shutting the door on that season of my life, He spoke words of love and assurance to me: “Debbie, as long as you hold on to what is not yours anymore, I cannot give you the rest of what I have for you.” In that instant, I knew what I had to do. I contacted each parent and let them know that I would not be able to tutor after the end of the calendar year. That was hard. But immediately after obedience, comes peace. (1 Corinthians 14:33): "God is not a God of disorder but of peace". The disorder and restlessness in my spirit left and I have been able to rest in the comfort of knowing that I am obedient and have made my Father happy.
As I write this, my last tutoring appointments are December 3, 2024 – next week. I am blessed and honored to be serving in my new mission field in the company of women. But my journey to this moment has not been an easy one and I’m still in the middle of significant challenges some days. But isn’t that what the mission field and life look like? As I say good- bye to one mission field, there’s some lessons I am learning along the way. God is patient. He helps me.
Lesson 1: Our purpose and value are not found in what we do. Our purpose and value are found in Christ.
Lesson 2: A mission field or gifting is not always for a lifetime. God moves us from place to place for our good and His glory.
Lesson 3: Holding on too tightly to what God has given us makes it an idol. It will cause us to put the blessing before the Blesser and will nurture a spirit of discontent.
Lesson 4: We are not supposed to keep looking back but to move forward. My car’s rearview mirror is a good analogy for this one. If I keep my eyes glued to the rearview mirror, I lose my perception of where I am and what’s ahead of me. THAT is a dangerous situation. Applied to life, I discover that when I spend my time looking back and grieving over what use to be, I lose sight of where God has placed me in the here and now. I also deprive myself of the ability to have any understanding of the direction God wants me to move toward.
Prayer
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness, love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. You give me everything I need to live a
life that honors You. Even in my struggles and fear, You find ways to assure me that with You, I do not have to be afraid. I can confidently go forth and fulfill Your good purpose for my life. When I struggle, help me to let go of what is not mine and grab hold of what You have for me. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3: 13-14)
I have been struggling for four years.
I dreamed of being a teacher since I was five years old. Well into my forties, God miraculously orchestrated a chain of events that opened doors for me to receive my teaching certification and to have my own classroom. For over fifteen years, He provided me with the opportunity to work in public education and blessed my efforts in ways that took my breath away. Second only to motherhood, it was the best job I ever had. It was my mission field. And then COVID. As I navigated through the trials of virtual teaching and all that went with it, compounded with a couple years of working with some seriously challenging colleagues, God was whispering “It’s time, Debbie”. It was time to leave THAT mission field. Quite honestly, with all the stress and the 12–15-hour days I was working, I was happy to let it go.
Until I wasn’t.
As time passed and after I had some time to recharge, I began to grieve the loss of my classroom. I missed the children. I missed designing lessons and watching the kids learn. It was hard for me to let go. Almost four years later, it’s still hard sometimes. Because, let’s face it, when God gives you something you love and gifts you to do it, it’s hard to part with it. When I retired from teaching, I had two years of quiet and loneliness (which I hated). But in the quiet, the Lord speaks. The Holy Spirit showed me that in the quiet, I could hear better AND I had much to learn and grow in to prepare me for my new mission field. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I knew I needed to be obedient. There were times I wanted to fill up the quiet – but each time, I gave it to God. I’m still giving it to God. The battle between flesh and spirit is a hard one. Paul wrote: "For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want."
(Galatians 5:17). I wanted to feel important and needed again. I wanted to do something that made a difference. Sitting at home didn’t seem to fit the bill. But God needed me to see something differently.
When I retired, I left the classroom but still stayed involved in multiple educational advisory roles. I also kept tutoring. My heart will always love education, but I love the Lord more. So earlier this year, when He told me to withdraw from my advisory roles, I did exactly that. I submitted my resignations. All six of them. I was allowed to keep my tutoring which gave me great joy. Until two months ago. The Lord prompted me to let go of that too. And THAT is when I purchased another ticket to ride the Struggle Bus.
Letting go of tutoring is the final step of letting go of something I have been passionate about since childhood and gifted to do. I’ve been struggling for weeks over it, wanting to make sure I was hearing God correctly. But His Spirit has breathed truth and life into me many times, so deep down I knew it was Him. He has been and remains so patient with me. As I wrestled with shutting the door on that season of my life, He spoke words of love and assurance to me: “Debbie, as long as you hold on to what is not yours anymore, I cannot give you the rest of what I have for you.” In that instant, I knew what I had to do. I contacted each parent and let them know that I would not be able to tutor after the end of the calendar year. That was hard. But immediately after obedience, comes peace. (1 Corinthians 14:33): "God is not a God of disorder but of peace". The disorder and restlessness in my spirit left and I have been able to rest in the comfort of knowing that I am obedient and have made my Father happy.
As I write this, my last tutoring appointments are December 3, 2024 – next week. I am blessed and honored to be serving in my new mission field in the company of women. But my journey to this moment has not been an easy one and I’m still in the middle of significant challenges some days. But isn’t that what the mission field and life look like? As I say good- bye to one mission field, there’s some lessons I am learning along the way. God is patient. He helps me.
Lesson 1: Our purpose and value are not found in what we do. Our purpose and value are found in Christ.
Lesson 2: A mission field or gifting is not always for a lifetime. God moves us from place to place for our good and His glory.
Lesson 3: Holding on too tightly to what God has given us makes it an idol. It will cause us to put the blessing before the Blesser and will nurture a spirit of discontent.
Lesson 4: We are not supposed to keep looking back but to move forward. My car’s rearview mirror is a good analogy for this one. If I keep my eyes glued to the rearview mirror, I lose my perception of where I am and what’s ahead of me. THAT is a dangerous situation. Applied to life, I discover that when I spend my time looking back and grieving over what use to be, I lose sight of where God has placed me in the here and now. I also deprive myself of the ability to have any understanding of the direction God wants me to move toward.
Prayer
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness, love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. You give me everything I need to live a
life that honors You. Even in my struggles and fear, You find ways to assure me that with You, I do not have to be afraid. I can confidently go forth and fulfill Your good purpose for my life. When I struggle, help me to let go of what is not mine and grab hold of what You have for me. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Posted in Boast in the Lord \\\'25
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